Yes, my job as the Substitute is to teach the students, but it is great when I take something away from my experiences. Below are a list of what I have learned during my various teaching experiences. Please remember I have taught 1st Graders through 12th Graders, although I have to admit some of the sillier things have come from older kids…
How to spell “sherbet”. I always thought it was spelled “sherbert”
I thought “weird” was spelled “wierd” following the rule I before E except after C…
A student asked me to say “Supercalafragalisticexpialadoshis” OK. Done. Then he asked me to spell it. Of course I said I couldn’t and asked him to spell it. He did. “it”.
How do you put an elephant in a Safeway bag? Take the S out of “safe” and the F out of “way”. The kids hope you will say “there is no f in way”. At least don’t let the kids get you to say it. Fortunately for me I missed it and did not fall for it.
(updated 4/20/2016) If there was a subject area I wish I remembered better from training this would be it. More than any other topics they included in our 2-day training, I asked more questions regarding how to protect a child in danger and bullying than anything else. And yet, I missed the #1 rule –
DON’T CALL CPS!!!
Early in my substitute teaching career (2 months ago), I met a student who spoke about personal concerns which needed to be reported. Remembering how much time I spent asking about what to do at training, I did NOT do what I should have. I did not report the student’s concerns to the school’s principal. Instead I called CPS – Child Protective Services. Eventually the School “may” have called CPS themselves but this should have been their decision to make, not mine. When I did make the report to CPS, the intake asked me if I already reported this to the School. The reason for this is no one knows the student’s situation better than the school. As a substitute teacher I have little to no knowledge of what is going on in a kids life and to suggest I know enough to contact CPS, is (in hindsight) ridiculous! As I failed to do so, I called my direct supervisor at the BOE Office and told them what I did in to make them aware. This resulted with an inquiry the following day. I was exonerated of any wrongdoing but I learned to make sure to follow protocol the next time.
Who do you report to?
“Principal” can also be defined as anyone in authority at the school including the guidance counselor or someone in the school leadership. If that person wants you to escalate the report they will tell you who to speak with.
What to report?
The CONCERN does not necessarily have to be FROM THE STUDENT. There was a time when I noticed the behavior of a student which led me to believe she was being bullied by other kids in her class (5th grade). I brought this to the attention of her teacher who said she would follow it up.
Also, this concern does not have to be school related. On one occasion a student was talking to other kids that she was pregnant. This is not something I wanted to take responsibility for knowing, without alerting the school leadership. I figured they were already aware of this situation but I was not prepared to make that assumption. As it turned out I was referred by a Vice Principal to the Guidance Office. And yes, the school was already aware of this situation.
Possible reasons to report –
Student says something that has happened, or they think will happen, at school which needs to be reported.
A Teacher says something (did something) that made a student feel uncomfortable but they for some reason have not already reported this.
A fellow teacher did something that I felt was “out of place”.
Student is being bullied by another student(s)
Student is scared of going home at night.
Something simply looks “out of place” and makes me want to report it to someone.
6th – 8th graders actually ask this often enough to write about.
I have been told I look Italian which must be why kids get these ideas in their heads. The kids who ask are typically the ones who also get into trouble with their teachers for behavioral issues. Every class seems to have one of them, if not more, once they have hit the 6th grade. There are certainly behavioral issues much earlier but the knowledge of the mafia tends to wait until they are a bit older.
Depending on how they are behaving, I will use one of two answers…
If they are the kids I mention above my typical answer is “I used to be. (Pause) Do you want me to act like I used to?”
If I don’t detect the bad behavior I just say, “I used to be” and leave it at that.
If they are older kids, some kids will believe me where others will outwardly question me. Not wanting to have kids thinking I make things up I give them a chance to Google my name on available devices. If they don’t have them I let someone use a computer in the room. Once they have done this I have them look up a book title I have authored, “The Crooner and the Russian Mob”. Once they see this on Amazon and my photo, the room either goes very quiet as they wait for my next comment, or it explodes in excitement. I never imagined how silly kids could be when they think they have met someone famous.
When I go to a new 6th grade class I like to fit in 10 minutes for a story about my daughter and her 6th Grade Valentine’s Day Dance.
The Lesson – A True Story of Peer Pressure
I tell a story about my daughter who is in 6th Grade. She was invited to her Valentine’s Day Dance this year by 8 boys. This gets quite a response from both the girls and the boys.
I then ask if anyone can guess how many boys she said “No” to. They usually say 7. Some girls say “All”. The boys never make the assumption she would say “No” to everyone. After they are finished guessing I tell them “None“.
I then follow this up if they can guess how many boys she said “Yes” to. They come up with all kinds of answers. When they are done guessing the answer I tell them “None“.
This usually gets lots of raised eyebrows from the girls and mass confusion by the boys.
I then go on to explain to them that until they are well into their teens, no boy (or girl) has the right to ask a girl/boy to a dance or social function in school. And therefore girls should ignore and not respond. The boys will normally say this is not nice or polite. I remind them that it is far worse for the girls to have to respond to such questions that should NEVER be asked in the first place.
Reasons I tell the kids…
Most kids their age are happiest going to social functions and being with their friends, both boys and girls.
When a girl says “yes” to an invitation it can create a reputation for her she will never live down for the rest of her school days. This is not fair and completely unnecessary, and unacceptable. The same rule can apply for a boy but in our society boys don’t usually tease each other if they ask a girl on a date.
When a girl and boy do go to a dance or social function they are typically teased by other kids and come under great peer pressure to do things beyond their ages that they will personally regret afterward. I don’t explain what these things are.
So, the lesson is, until you are at the age that most kids are dating in class, don’t put each other in this unnecessary predicament. Be happy that you are friends and don’t try to change it.
If the kids ask me to quality “when” it is acceptable, I just say “Talk to your parents.” There are occasions when kids say they don’t live with their parents. For them I suggest when they are well into high school.
There are times when kids will blurt out that they have had many boy, or girl, friends already. I smile when I hear this and just remind the rest, just because they do what they do does not mean it is right and you don’t have to feel pressured because they are the minority, not the majority. Enjoy your age. You will wish you were still young when you grow up.
During an English class in 8th Grade, a student did something very stupid. Fortunately for him it appears what he may have thought was in a pill bottle was. Toward the end of the class, a fellow student found an opened bottle of chewable aspirin. I took the bottle from the student and threw it in the garbage can.
Next thing I know, another student spits something in the garbage. From what I quickly learned, this student tried to show off to the other students by taking the pill bottle and downing the entire bottle in his mouth. He then spit it out and told me he did not swallow any. I quickly alerted the school nurse who asked me to write a Referral for the student to make sure it was documented. I also retrieved the pill bottle and turned it in.
Definitely a stupid prank by the kid. Had the nurse not asked for the referral I may not have done it since he spit it out but the same student was reported by other kids for throwing books at the backs of other students heads when I was not looking.
LESSON? Try to pay more attention. This was one of those lessons where I learned that DISCIPLINE is an absolute necessity in some class rooms more than others.
I spent a full week teaching 8th grade. One of the young men in the class never did his work and was a regular interruption in classes. Having heard something about his home life, and being aware of his social issues just by watching him in class, I decided to not make his behavior an issue. At least not until the very last day I was there.
Toward the end of the class he laid down on the floor, placed 5 books inside his shirt and started to undulate his body causing the books to come out of his shirt one by one. I have to admit it was well done but this was not Saturday Night Live and it touched a nerve that I could not ignore. I picked up the phone and called guidance who had me send him there. They asked me to write a referral for him, which was the last straw and he got suspended that day. He saw me later in the day and thanked me personally for getting him suspended. I returned to the school to teach other grades but did not see him again.
